The Cabin 

I stepped onto the porch, set my suitcase down, and took in a breath of the fresh mountain air. This trip with my Mom and sister was an unexpected surprise. As we settled into our cozy cabin, I looked forward to sightseeing, coffee on the porch, and pleasant conversations. 

But later that night, when I should have been relaxing, I found myself wide awake. My mind was racing. I turned and tossed in bed, but I could not get comfortable. I got up for a drink. I laid back down and tried to pray. I went to the couch. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get my mind to shut down so I could go to sleep.

Feeling Stuck

My brain was stuck, ruminating on a decision I needed to make. 

An unexpected opportunity had come my way. Should I say “yes” or should I say “no?”

I would be adding something to my plate. Still, I thought it might make my life easier in the long run — even though it would include a big learning curve and a lot of extra work (work I would actually enjoy, I might add.) 

I didn’t think it would take so long to think this through. 

The decision would have been easy for anyone else to make, but I had been wrestling with it for days. 

Why can’t I just decide one way or the other? 

The more time I took to make the decision, the harder it became.

I was trying so hard to make that one decision that I was becoming emotionally overwhelmed. My thoughts became irrational:

I’m not cut out for any of this. Maybe I should just give up.

My thoughts and emotions were trapped in the front seat of a wild roller coaster. 

One moment, I felt completely disillusioned: There’s no hope.

The next, I was on an uphill climb: Wait, maybe there is another solution!

Then I’d top that hill, and swoosh, my thoughts would plummet to the bottom again.

I don’t even know how to be praying about all this. 

By midnight I felt more disillusioned and discouraged than I had in a long time. 

Then a Bible verse came to my mind, one that’s encouraged me many times. 

The Spirit Helps Us

Romans 8:26 says “In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”

And it dawned on me…

I didn’t have to say any words.

I didn’t have to think any thoughts.

I didn’t have to come up with a proper way to pray.

Jesus helps me in my weakest moments.

When I don’t know how to pray, the Spirit is praying for me in a more profound way than I could ever even begin to imagine — using prayers without words, prayers beyond the limits of my human understanding. 

No matter my circumstances, He’s already praying on behalf of me and everyone involved. He’s at work in the situation. He was already there before I even began to be concerned about it. He has an understanding that I don’t have, and He will sort out the things that aren’t necessary for me to understand (no matter how much I feel like I need all the answers, right now!)

I was reminded once again, that if I had all the answers, I wouldn’t need to lean into trusting Him. 

The Next Step

And so, somewhere around 2:30 AM on that sleepless night in that cozy cabin on the mountainside, I stopped trying to force the decision. I chose to trust God, and He would help me get in line with His eternal purposes.

And so I asked myself, What’s the simplest next step I can take? 

I decided to ask for help. I knew from past experience that what I really needed was an outside perspective. 

During the next week, I had key conversations with three people I trust. All three could see things in that situation that I could not. As they helped me weigh the options and consider the consequences, a consensus became clear. If I had said “yes” to that new opportunity, I would have put more on my plate than I could actually handle. In each conversation, I was encouraged to keep my focus and not get distracted. 

God had given me insight in those three conversations — insight that I wouldn’t have been able to benefit from if I had not asked for help.

I began to pray with more focus after the clarity I found in those conversations. After leaning on the Lord, hearing myself talk, and getting outside perspectives, I was able to come to a conclusion.

I found resolution when I stopped trying to work things out all on my own. 

3 Steps to Regain Your Sense of Calm

When you feel overwhelmed and at a loss for answers, here are 3 steps that will help you. 

1. Pray first. 

Prayer is the first step in any situation. If you feel at a loss for how to pray, remember Romans 8:26. The Spirit is praying for you, doing work that you are too overwhelmed to do at the moment. God is faithful to you, and the Spirit is always interceding for your eternal benefit and for the good of God’s kingdom

2. Get an outside perspective from someone you trust.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help. An outside perspective from someone you know and trust can benefit you in two distinct ways. 

First, as you have a conversation, you hear yourself speak. You may find yourself saying something out loud that you couldn’t make sense of in your jumbled isolated thoughts. 

Second, you also have a trusted listener. They may be able to hear something in the words you speak that you were unable to hear on your own. The one you trust very likely knows you well — just like my three trusted ones who knew me well enough to instantly see I was about to take on more than I could handle. Taking your situation to someone you trust can keep you from taking steps in the wrong direction. 

In the past, I’ve personally received much relief when I asked for outside perspectives from a variety of people. As I went through various circumstances, I’ve talked with: 

• close family
• close friends
• my pastor 
• mentors — often Godly women a few decades older than myself
• a counselor
• a life coach

Every conversation helped me sort things out across a vast array of circumstances — often ones that were very difficult for me, situations I would have continued to flounder in without help from these trusted people in my life.

3. Take action.

As soon as I returned from my vacation, I sent a short email. I felt confident in my decision, I had informed the necessary people, and it felt good. What a relief to be free from the anxiety of those overwhelming thoughts! 

Taking these three steps helped me lean on God and learn to trust Him more. Through prayer and the Word, connecting with others we trust, and following up with actions steps, we can regain our sense of calm when thoughts are overwhelming.